My blood has been replaced with coffee

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grew-up-a-screw-up's avatar
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Hi

long time no speak, write, communicate or anything else for that matter.
I hope you all are well, and that you're having a good day or at least an okay one.
so I don't actually know how long it's been since I've been on here properly per se,
I've come on every few days read some new works and then scampered away
but I don't think that technically classifies as any sort of useful activity on here.

I have been incredibly busy and despite being at home this past week due to a half term 
from school I haven't had time to even sleep.

I suppose my meagre explanation is that I've been so busy I've been forgetting to eat
because my work load rivals Atlas and I don't know how to manage time properly once
I become absorbed in something, that something being school work.
I'm desperately trying to achieve the grades I want and unfortunately my brain 
which used to be good at absorbing information like a sponge feels...damaged, like those
tiny nerves have burnt along the edges, fried and blackened and useless.
So where it used to be easy for me to be an overachiever it is now a feat. Much to my dismay.

So here's my attempt at explaining myself, I was considering giving a recap of what's been 
going on in my life but I don't know if you guys are interested...? Are you? I always feel like
I'm just flooding you with spam about my life so I never know whether to actually tell you or not,
if you do then comment and tell me something that's happened in your life, go for a full
memoir if you wish I'd love to read them.

Hopefully I will be able to actually write something and upload soon, so far
my mind seems to be filled with ugly formulas where letters and numbers have
been butchered and thrown together. The science's are sapping my creativity like a leech
with all their logic and notations.

Well I'm done with my rant, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Later~
© 2014 - 2024 grew-up-a-screw-up
Comments5
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LionesseRampant's avatar
I'd love to hear about what's been going on in your life.

Hmmm. About me? Well, I recently told someone something that I've never told anyone before, something I hardly admit to myself, and she didn't even acknowledge what I said, which sent me to an even worse place for a while. I've gotten over it since then, but it still hurts, y'know? I feel like all of my real life 'friends' have abandoned me and it sucks and I don't even know how to make new ones. I just wish I could live in a building with all of my favorite deviants and not have to worry about anything at all.

The other week, I was at a family gathering and they kept badgering me about getting a job and moving out and acting like an adult and having responsibilities and I got really overwhelmed and angry and anxious and I had to leave the room and lock myself in the bathroom to cry. It felt like there was a giant black hole where my heart should have been and it hurt more than I wanted it to.

No one in my real life knows that I'm depressed, but they should because all the signs are there. They're just too blind to see it. And if I told them, they'd just tell me to get over it. I'm just so alone and I need someone to talk to, face to face, about everything but I don't and it sucks.

So yeah. That's my life right now.

whoops sorry